Punk Doc is Top of the Pops

Dr. Bill and his band "Better Do What We Say Or We Won't Treat Your Cancer" are topping the charts with their hit single: "Your 'rents are killing you - sue them!".

William Bahnzaf-Glanz, better known as Dr. Bill, is an oncologist with a unique sideline - he plays lead guitar for a punk rock band composed of health promotion professionals.

Dr. Bill and the boys got their musical break performing for health promotion conventions in the US, UK and Canada - where their vitriolic opening number: "Fuck Off Asshole Patients" struck a chord with convention goers. Also popular with their partying peers were punked-up covers of "Money (That's What I Want)" and "Dust In The Wind".
"Health Promoters could really identify with this kind of music", says Bahnzaf-Glanz.

"We wanted to reach out to young people - really get our message out in a way they could also relate to", explains drummer Skinny Laddy (Brent Entwhistle), an epidemiologist, "We got a million-dollar grant from the Johnson Foundation to tour high schools and colleges playing songs like 'Fat People Suck', 'Vegetables Make Me Come', and 'Kill The Smokers Before They Kill You' - the kids just ate it up!"

"We're reviving Straight-edge culture," claimed Dr. Bill recently, "that's the place to start, anyway. From there we hope to build an aggressive youth movement modelled after the Brownshirts - young people who aren't afraid to speak up and physically intimidate members of their peer group who violate healthy behaviour morality. There's nothing wrong with peer pressure, you see, as long as it's about staying healthy and clean".